Between the dawn of time and now, some say that many things have happened. Sometimes these things have involved cats, and sometimes they have involved cars. And a during a few rare instances in the history of the universe, cats have been melded with cars, to the delight of kith and kin. Here are the top five cats that are cars.
Voltron was an amazing set of toy robot cats that joined together to form a larger robot cat man. My older brother had one, gifted to him from dear grand mama, while I played with twine and dirt in the corner. Yes it comes from a Japanese animated series of the same name, but I don't think anyone has ever seen the supposed cartoon and, in fact, tales of the animation's existence are likely a conspiracy to drive toy sales twenty years ago. Thanks Obama. Of course you might say, "Hey Andy, that's not a car, though I concede that it is a cat." Who the hell do you think you are, buddy? Geez. I invite you into my blog and you just start whizzing on the carpet like you own the place. Like a cat.
4) White Ranger Tiger Power
Sing it with me now! White! Ranger! Tiger Power! The White Power Ranger, who was also the Green Ranger, and maybe other colors too (no one really knows what else that shifty Tommy was up to) had a kickass tiger robot. The robots were called Zords, weren't they? Whatever man, I grabbed this image from an Angelfire site. Bless you Angelfire, for still existing. Of course you might say, "Hey Andy, that's not really a car either." Get a load of this guy; thinks a car's got to have wheels to be a car. But what if it doesn't? Thank you this has been my TEDx Talk.
3) Thundercats Thing
The fuck was up with Thundercats? I don't know man. Their ThunderTank looked a little like a cat, which is like driving a car that looks like a human. But they were cat humans, so I guess maybe they also had a human-shaped car. Fucked up, man.
2) This Horrible Nightmare
This horrible nightmare vehicle evokes Alice in Wonderland's Cheshire cat, who could potentially become a car if he so desired because Alice was really trippin' balls at the time. It looks like this horrible nightmare bares some Whiskas branding, and according to my googling, is located in New Zealand. Did Whiskas commission the cat car? Or did a Whiskas executive spot this advertunity from afar and accost the cat car owner with a wad of Kiwi Cash? (Technically New Zealanders only conduct transactions with bags of gold coins, so don't bother correcting me.) I don't know. What I do know is that there's probably a dozen identical vehicles at the dusty disco sex party that is Burning Man every year.
1) Totoro Cat Bus
My Neighbor Totoro is a goddamn beautiful film by Studio Ghibli and directed by Hayao Miyazaki about some kids and their sick mother and some forest spirits. Or maybe it's a grisly coded allegory about death and our inevitable demise. There's a school bus cat too. A cat shaped like a school bus, or a bus shaped like a cat? The perennial question amongst stoned anime enthusiasts. Buscat transports the forest spirits around and as cat buses are wont to... damn it why are you looking at me like that, just watch the movie. Totoro's cat bus is the top cat car, obviously.
Photos via your mom.